Worth and Value in the Changing Social Environment

Growing up, my mother always told me “you mean the world to me”. However, as I have continued to grow up, not everyone thinks that about me.

Recently, I have been reading many articles, Twitter threads, and Reddit post about the value of a person and how our social environment pushes people to overly worry about how we are viewed as a person. In reading all of this material, I have started to question my own sense of worth. Whether or not people see me as worthy. Am I a good Social Worker? Are my photographic portraits good? Do I look good enough? Am I enough?

You can imagine, these questions keep me up late at night. But, the ultimate reality is, we do place value on people. We place value and worth on the attention we receive and give, our time with others, our home and neighborhoods, and our character. There are plenty more examples of things that we place value on.

What shocks me a lot is that we place value on our character traits as a person. This value extends from the clothes that I wear to the length of my hair, the foods that I eat, the way I respond, and the successes and failures that I have experienced in my life.

I roll up my pants because I like the curvature that it provides for my silhouette. My hair is longer now because I want to learn how to curl my hair. I am vegetarian because, while meat tastes great, my digestion doesn’t like meat. I have become stern in my conversations; I don’t back down. I listen to others and I can agree to disagree. I have set new boundaries for others and have taken control of things in my life.

In me trying to explain everything about myself, some people will see me as less valuable. Some people will see me as less valuable because of my sexuality. Some people will see me as less valuable because I am sterner in my conversations and I don’t give control to others so easily.

Here’s an example that I like to talk about when I bring up this topic. You may be someone who has cheated on another individual. Let’s say you only did that one time in your life and every other relationship, you didn’t cheat. That person and their group will still think that you are a cheater. Knowing your own worth and trying to not extend your worth and values onto someone else is really the only way to get around this. You don’t have to forgive, and you definitely don’t have to forget. You just have to become indifferent.

How does all of this apply to the social environment?

Our social environment loves to pick apart people. Many individuals are being overanalyzed when that isn’t what should always be done. An analytical culture and taking responsibility for your actions is great; it’s progress. However, over-analyzing and determining someone’s value is not commendable.

Understand, your own worth. Understand your own personality. Learn to be mindful of others. Try to have a good time (know the limits). This is all we can ask for as people.