About 2023: Dialectics
I got to thinking again….
2023 has been an amazing and devastating year for me. My practice of therapy and the art of photography have grown exponentially over the year. I feel more confident in my body. I feel more in my body than ever before! My support team and I have been really pushing for so long that it’s so nice to take a breath and think about the year.
2023 Screwed me over so many times!
I can’t acknowledge just the good parts though. I have to acknowledge all of the bad stuff that happened along the way.
My mother had a brain aneurysm back in the late part of the summer and that was horrific on my family. I am thankful that she is alive but the amount of people in my family with brain damage is quite noticeable.
My niece has been constantly sick every month with different illnesses. It’s the part of being a baby and being exposed to the world. But man, it’s so hard to hear how she struggles sometimes.
My grandmother’s dementia progressed suddenly and it’s taken my whole dad’s side of my family by storm.
There was a big eruption in my family during all of this and that caused a lot of mixed signals and uncomfortable situations.
My partner had his appendix taken out due to acute appendicitis. Suddenly going into care taker mode can take a lot out of someone.
There have been a lot of disturbances in my neighborhood which has me feeling more unsafe than when we began living here around two years ago. Having to think about leaving my neighborhood has been difficult because I love the location.
There is probably so much more than I can name but all of these things will keep you on your toes.
The dialectic: Thankfulness
There are many things that I am thankful for:
Britney releasing her book
Finishing some books I have been trying to finish for years
I’m doing well financially compared to any other year
I am able to apply my Somatic EMDR approach with clients and it’s going well!
I have been a guest speaker in classrooms for the JMSW program that I am an alumni for
I have been able to make my space more like a home for me
I have done so much work in trauma therapy
I can be in my body and not feel overwhelmed
I have a closer group of friends than ever that have a good vision of me and provide a lot of assistance for me
I have recognized a lot of parts of me and I don’t judge them as much
My health has gotten better (I still don’t have but so much energy but I can at least move around more and not be the one left out because of my pain in my body)
I can actually cook now! Not the best but so much better than before!
My understanding of DBT has tremendously increased this year
I have been able to focus on the art that I love and the things I practice feel more related to me rather than what other people want
I can listen to advice and not assume they are judging me
I am so much less judgmental of myself
I am happier than before!
Just because one part exists, does not mean that the other is null and void
It can be super overwhelming to think that multiple things can be true. This year has been a shitty year. This year has been a great year. Both are valid and both have reasons. If I took the middle path, this year was okay. This year has led to a lot of pain and prosperity; not just for me but for so many people. Part of that pain and prosperity is luck, willingness/willfulness, and the systems that placed me where I am in life now. BIOSOCIAL theory!
What I am encouraging people to do throughout this brief time is to notice all sides of this year. The pain. The pleasure. The grieving. The healing. The monotony. The prosperity. The setbacks. The forwards. The beginnings. The middles. The ends. Notice how all of this has led you to the moment and practice some reality acceptance. Willingly allow yourself to notice the past, present, and future.
TLDR:
There have been many shitty and pleasant situations and moments from this year. WHAT IN THE WORLD! I am still thankful for all of that. I invite you to notice the pain and prosperity and everything in between 2023 and now. You’ve got this!