Begin Again

Written By Sterling Grissom

Hello All!

Welcome to my new website/blog. Thank you for sticking around. A lot of things have been going on in my life and it’s quite an interesting observation.

If you don’t know much about me, Hi, my name is Sterling. I am currently attending the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. And my life turned to shit really quick. I am a person who has been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and OCD tendencies.

I was diagnosed with these two things this year. For the first five months of this year (2018), I started having physical symptoms that I couldn’t explain otherwise. I would have tension headaches, tense abdomen, twitching eyes, tense neck, and etc…

I eventually went to the therapist and the psychiatrist and I started to get better. But recently, things took a turn when I let my guard down. I started to notice that my physical symptoms were coming back, and my tendencies for becoming needy of others came back out. I felt worthless.

I still feel worthless. I’m sad and grateful to say this, but I’m going back to therapy. It’s time for me to think of myself more than others and try build myself back up. To do that, I have to realize a few things about myself and others.

  • I am a person that unfortunately allows others to control my emotions.

  • I look to others to try and explain things when I can’t.

  • A lot of people do not care about whether or not you’re doing okay.

  • A lot of people do care though.

  • My physical symptoms have been defined before, now it’s time to redefine them.

  • My obsessions can take control over me when I let my guard down.

  • It’s time to move on.

  • I’m watching it begin again.

To a degree, I feel worthless about having to go to the therapist again. I’ve went before, why should I go again? But we wouldn’t say that about a general physician. If we broke our leg again, we would go see our GP again.

It’s time to look at those thoughts and change them, for me and for others.

I’m watching all of my anxieties and obsessions come back again, but I know something that I didn’t know before. That, I will share one day.

XOXO,

-Sterling

Sterling Grissom
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